How have you been being lately?
Yes, this question does sound a little strange in a society that hyper-focuses on how much we are DOING at the expense of reflecting on who we really want to BE.
From a young age, we’re asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” instead of “Who do you want to be?” This question predisposes us to value the task or role we will be doing over the values and character that determine our being.
Through my work as a Leadership Coach and Lifestyle Strategist, I’ve noticed a lot of Millennials struggling with finding their “enough point.” They are so focused on doing more and filling their lives (even with good things!) that they don’t know when to stop. There’s always another task, a new goal, or metaphorical mountain to climb.
When did efficiency replace sufficiency?
Something has to change if we want to lead with intention.
A Healthy Antidote to Doing More
This month, we’re focusing on the intention of self-acceptance to help Millennials learn how to claim what “enough” really looks like. It’s time to stop striving for perfection without rest or even celebration for a job well done (because, after all, rest and celebration are GOOD things that we really need!)
The first step to self-acceptance is recognizing who you are now without judgment for what you haven’t done yet. The Latin for the word “accept” is acceptare, which means “to receive, willingly.” You must first slow down enough to look into your life and receive what you find.
As we learn how to embrace self-acceptance more this month, I find it helpful to differentiate among self-esteem and self-improvement and what fuels all three.
Self-acceptance is not jumping straight into the “self-improvement zone” or judging yourself based on your perceived level of self-esteem. Rather, it is an invitation to take an honest look at your life in order to acknowledge who you already are before you take off running toward the next task. Then you are able to take stock of what is working, what needs to change, and who you want to become.
British psychologist and author, Dr. Robert Holden, believes that “self-acceptance is an invitation to stop trying to change yourself into the person you wish to be long enough to find out who you really are.”
Imagine what would be possible if we came face to face with ourselves – even the ugly, messy bits – and made peace with where we are now so we could claim more. What would be possible then? Here’s what the research shows…
Sounds pretty desirable, right? Let’s keep exploring…
As you begin to embrace self-acceptance more this month, I invite you to use the following questions to reflect even deeper:
- In your life, how do you determine what “enough” looks and feels like?
- What’s easy about this?
- What’s that hardest thing?
- Is there anything you’re rejecting instead of accepting? Consider how you can embrace this instead and make peace with it.
- If there was one thing that you could do now that would make the most difference for you, what would it be?
These reflective questions should give you a jump start on your personal journey to embracing self-acceptance. Through sharing series of interactive resources throughout the month of May, we’ll be exploring what self-acceptance looks and feels like (and doesn’t) so you can claim whatever “enough” is for you. My social media feeds will be full of quotes to inspire you, inquiry questions to marinate in, links to great talks as well as free courses, and our next Millennial Spotlight interview!
Want to learn even more about embracing self-acceptance and finding your “enough-point”?
Come join me on Thursday, May 26th as I unveil my new Perfectionists Anonymous workshop that I’ll be leading at The Urban Hive in midtown Sacramento.
Join us for an evening workshop dialogue around…
- Tapping into the root of your perfectionism
- Exploring what is really “enough” for you
- Letting go of sabotaging beliefs and old stories that aren’t serving you
- Practicing strategies to help make the most of your day (and life)
Get your tickets at a discounted price through May 10th and I hope to see you there!
Great Resources on Self-Acceptance
- A Life of Being, Having and Doing Enough
- The Gifts of Imperfection
- The Path to Unconditional Self-Acceptance, Psychology Today
- How Self-Acceptance Can Crack Open Your Life: A Radical 10-Day Plan To Accept Who You Really Are
- The Self-Acceptance Project: A Free Video Series
Be the Revolution,