“Whatever you fear most, actually controls you…”
When I first heard this, it was one of those jaw-dropping, stop-the-clock, moments. I was sitting in a CTI coach training course as the instructor asked us to begin listing all the things that we fear or simply can’t “be with.”
At first, this exercise appeared easy and even freeing. Then, as I realized how long my list had grown, I began to feel the weight of what was actually controlling my decisions and holding me back.
Instead of recognizing all the good and positive things I could be activating in my life, the very things I feared were causing me to play small and limiting my impact. I had to learn how to let these things go or simply “be with” them in a spirit of acceptance in order to regain my control and influence.
And this process isn’t easy…and isn’t fun. In fact, it’s generally downright hard and messy. But it teaches us how to expand who we are by taking ownership of how we think and act in the world. It teaches us how to lead beyond fear.
Leading Beyond Fear
To honor this spirit of release and reclaim our personal power, this month, we’re focusing on the intention of being and becoming more fearless – taking risks, acting bolder, and expanding our comfort zone!
When was the last time you felt completely free and unafraid?
What were you doing?
Who were you with?
What impact did this situation have on your life and leadership?
Leading beyond fear requires courage, compassion, and collaboration. Click To Tweet
Fearlessness is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage to choose to step out of your comfort zone and confront your fears. It’s uncomfortable, both physically and emotionally, as you lean into something bigger and face the unknown.
Living and leading with more boldness, you must act with compassion for those around you and for yourself. Simply blazing ahead without regard for others isn’t true leadership – it’s bulldozing. To create true and lasting change, you must balance completing the task with enhancing your relationships.
Collaboration is key for these moments when you don’t know what’s next. Building bridges instead of walls can allow your impact to spread even more. While you may feel empowered to act on your own, consider how much larger your influence will increase when you align with people who share your vision and values.
Being With More
As you practice fearless leadership this month, consider what is holding you back and causing you to play small.
What can’t you “be with” currently?
Maybe it’s bad drivers…or bad breath. Or people who are lazy or self-centered. Set a timer for 60 seconds and write down as many things that come to mind.
All of these things trigger you to shrink back to a comfort zone that excludes these people and situations as a defense mechanism to maintain a sense of personal control. And when you play small, you give away your power.
Now imagine what would be possible if you woke up tomorrow and all of these things didn’t bother you anymore.
Nothing would stand in your way. Your courage would be stronger, your compassion would be bigger, and your collaboration would be more effective. You would be fully empowered.
You have a choice, every day, to decide what you want to “be with” and what you choose to avoid. And while there are plenty of negative people and things out there, most of our fears and issues are really smaller matters that boil down to personal preference and staying within our comfort zone.
My challenge to you this month is to choose ONE THING that triggers you and simply get curious about it…not critical or defensive. Notice how this chosen thing shows up in your life and what your gut reaction is when it appears. Consider what other ways of being you could choose and how that shifts your actions and influence. See how you can simply “be with” this thing a little more, not giving away more power to it as you lead beyond fear. I’d love to hear how this goes for you…
Be the Revolution,